First Day of School

Last Friday I dropped Abney off at school for her first playdate. Yes, school. She will never again be my little infant at home, she is slowly growing up and one of those steps is going to school where she has other children her age to play with and teachers to fuss over her. She did great, and I only cried for a little while...
Going back to work was definitely an emotional roller coaster, but one I feel I have a hold on. Yes, some days are better than others but in general feel like I can get through the day without crying. Thursday was not one of those days. My body was literally aching for my baby. I could not get over how much I was missing her. I finally realized it was my new emotional ride of Abney going to school. So yes, when I say school I mean daycare but it is essentially the same thing. We are paying more than most private schools and she has classmates and teachers, and they are teaching her sign language and Spanish so that is school enough for me. :)
However you look at it my little baby is no longer safe in our home being cared for by family. I definitely eased my way into not being her primary caretaker during the day, by having my mom there the first week and then Ben's Dad the next. It was so nice having our parents be the ones to provide care and knowing they had her at the center of their world and were meeting 100% of her needs. It made it so much easier on me and certainly on Abney. I knew the day would come when I would have to take her away from the comfort and security of our home and leave her in the hands of essentially strangers. The official day is March 15th, but we all thought it would be a good idea to do a test day first. So glad we did!
The entire morning was crazy because it was my first time getting ready for work with Abney awake and needing to have her routine completed as well. Ben told me it was simple, well yes, for the person that has been doing it every morning for the last 6 weeks! LOL He has it down to a science, whereas I looked like it was my first time changing a diaper or feeding my child. But we finally got ourselves together and on the road. We hit the beautiful ATL traffic but still made it to school early. I filled out some paperwork while trying to hold back tears, and Abney cooed at me and was probably telling me how silly I was being.
We went to her classroom and she lit up at the sight of other children. She was smiling and trying to sit up, and didn't even bat an eyelash when I left. The Asst. Director gave me a hug and told me I would be okay. Yes, that I would be okay. Neither of us were worried about Abney...I went back to work and when I got to my cube I told my manager and teammate we could not talk about it. Especially since my teammate is not a mom yet and my manager is a man. No offense men, but you just don't get it. :) Thankfully my friend Stacy came over and helped be my support. She is currently housing Abney's future schoolmate in her womb. Her daughter Kinsley will join Abney in July at The Goddard School, and we are both so excited to share the moments together. Anyway, I was so grateful to have her there to support me and to help keep me busy. The day did fly by and before I knew it I was leaving for lunch to pick up my baby.
I rushed to the school and felt like I was walking on air. The sun was shining and I knew everything was okay. Ben met me at the school to pick her up, and we both went in together. Abney smiled when she saw us and apparently was one of the hits of the day with her sweet demeanor. Her little report card had lots of smiles and details of the fun they had. We all went to lunch at Uncle Julio's which is in the same parking lot, and met Stacy (Kinsley on board), our friend Nate that just moved here from NC, and Kelly who is still on maternity leave with her daughter Mya. It was a wonderful lunch and hopefully soon to be a traditional Friday night spot.
I had so much anxiety and worry, but everything went great. I know in the long run it will be great for Abney socially and developmentally, and with her close to my office I hope to get to nurse her on lunch hour some days. But I can't help still be a hint of sad since this beginning is officially the close to the days of my Abney being my little baby at home.