Small Changes

So I finally did it. We moved Abney's bassinet away from my hip by the bed and closer to the door. It has been weighing on my mind for a few weeks as something I knew I needed to do but just was not ready. We tried a few nights ago and the moment I turned around and looked at Ben I burst into tears. I was still not ready to be away from her at all, and decided I didn't have to do that just yet and pushed the bassinet close to our bed as usual.
The next day after the doctor told us how healthy and "perfect" (I love a good doctor that smoozes you), our Abney is I started thinking to myself that I really want to keep her on this track. She is going to have to move to her own room eventually so I need to start making the baby steps now. I'm happy to report that the past two nights she has slept soundly in her bassinet but near the door and not right next to the bed. I have also behaved myself with no tears and not getting out of bed obsessively to check on her. I'm thankful she is not aware of what a ninny I'm being right now so hopefully it will not affect her developing into a beautiful independent woman.
Each step is so exciting for the child but clearly difficult for the mom. It was difficult that first week when she was no longer in my protective womb and other people were holding her. Once she started sleeping more it was so difficult to put her in her bassinet and not have her in my arms. Now I'm slowly moving her bed away from me, which will eventually move her into her own crib in her own room. And one day we will spend all day at Ikea picking out her toddler bed and bedding, and then her big girl bed, and then her college dorm, and then her first apartment...Can you blame me for wanting to keep her as close to me as possible for just a little longer?
She and her Daddy (and the boys) are still snoozing soundly upstairs and I am downstairs finishing my first cup of coffee. Ben has the day off and we are going to Ikea today but to pick up a new desk for my home office and hopefully get it all set up so I can plan to work from home at least one day a week. And yes, I stopped typing to daydream about how we can later set it up as a schoolroom so that after work and after school Abney and I can play teacher with each other and her siblings. (Sallie and Nana, am I me or what?) Well I guess I should fill up my coffee mug and wake up my crew. I want to enjoy every minute I can my last week of maternity leave. Thank you everyone for your continued prayers and support, we could not do it without you.